Extramarital affair is something that anyone can fall into without even realising a thing. Before we begin, I assume no one would choose to be involved in an affair by intention - unless if the person has no morals or conscience.
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don't pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won't realise it until after they're stuck;
And by the time they know they're in, it is impossible to get out without hurting someone's feeling. So how would you know if you are starting to be engaged in an extramarital affair? Read on.
The beginning of any affair is when a person starts forming a connection with someone other than their spouse. At this stage attraction may not yet exist and this is definitely not a dangerous part of the affair. This can happen anywhere such as the office or any other social group you belong to. This is when you start becoming friends (harmless) with a member of the opposite sex.
When a friendship that has formed moves into a closer friendship that's when the first sign of emotional affair comes to surface. More stories will be shared and before you know it, intimate stories including problems with your spouse will also be included in your conversation topic with your so-called close friend.
Now before we go on any further, realise that this close friend is just that, a close friend. he/she is not your spouse. You can bet that you haven't seen most of his/her bad habits and behaviour. Your knowledge about this person is still mainly based on what he/she told you - words rather than action.
"This is what I would do...", "In my opinion a guy should...", "I would personally disagree with your spouse..." etc.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
The last stage of this 'dangerous zone' is when you start sharing deep emotional heart-to-heart stuff. This definitely leads to a deeper emotional affair where you start feeling understood, feeling close to the other person. You will feel loved and starting from there, you may start wondering what it would be like to have a spouse just like this friend of yours.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of 'being loved once again' or 'finding a soul mate a little late'. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Before long, given a good atmosphere somebody will cross the physical line with a kiss or even the hand holding. If the situation permits this may lead to a sexual act - and yes it is a hundred times worse than a one-night-stand as it involves deep emotional intimacy.
It's impossible to get out!
Yes now you know extramarital affairs does NOT just naturally happen. It carries many warning signs - but it's up to you to choose to mask those signs with the 'ah he/she is just a friend' statement. There is no such a thing as having no control of the situation from the start. Knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the rut.
You must remember that even you are very vulnerable when it comes to emotion and you should not overestimate yourself. Do not naively believe that this will never happen to you because it can.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs - don't let it override your emotions. - 14915
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don't pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won't realise it until after they're stuck;
And by the time they know they're in, it is impossible to get out without hurting someone's feeling. So how would you know if you are starting to be engaged in an extramarital affair? Read on.
The beginning of any affair is when a person starts forming a connection with someone other than their spouse. At this stage attraction may not yet exist and this is definitely not a dangerous part of the affair. This can happen anywhere such as the office or any other social group you belong to. This is when you start becoming friends (harmless) with a member of the opposite sex.
When a friendship that has formed moves into a closer friendship that's when the first sign of emotional affair comes to surface. More stories will be shared and before you know it, intimate stories including problems with your spouse will also be included in your conversation topic with your so-called close friend.
Now before we go on any further, realise that this close friend is just that, a close friend. he/she is not your spouse. You can bet that you haven't seen most of his/her bad habits and behaviour. Your knowledge about this person is still mainly based on what he/she told you - words rather than action.
"This is what I would do...", "In my opinion a guy should...", "I would personally disagree with your spouse..." etc.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
The last stage of this 'dangerous zone' is when you start sharing deep emotional heart-to-heart stuff. This definitely leads to a deeper emotional affair where you start feeling understood, feeling close to the other person. You will feel loved and starting from there, you may start wondering what it would be like to have a spouse just like this friend of yours.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of 'being loved once again' or 'finding a soul mate a little late'. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Before long, given a good atmosphere somebody will cross the physical line with a kiss or even the hand holding. If the situation permits this may lead to a sexual act - and yes it is a hundred times worse than a one-night-stand as it involves deep emotional intimacy.
It's impossible to get out!
Yes now you know extramarital affairs does NOT just naturally happen. It carries many warning signs - but it's up to you to choose to mask those signs with the 'ah he/she is just a friend' statement. There is no such a thing as having no control of the situation from the start. Knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the rut.
You must remember that even you are very vulnerable when it comes to emotion and you should not overestimate yourself. Do not naively believe that this will never happen to you because it can.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs - don't let it override your emotions. - 14915
About the Author:
Sally Webb is the Editor of Cheating-Spouse-Alert.com. Have a look at her site for more information about of infidelity and affairs from warning signs of cheating spouse to ways of catching them. Furthermore, See the article: Extramarital Affair: should I confess to my spouse.
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