You've broken up with your ex. A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back. What relationship advice can help?
In a break up, the feelings of love and intimacy you had for each other got replaced by feelings of anger or hurt. Where you were feeling loving and intimate you started feeling mad or betrayed. Good feelings got replaced by bad feelings. So you fought and broke up. This is just what happens in relationships all over the world.
But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate. What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing. This is an important thing to note about emotions. Angry, hurt feelings aren't set in stone. Feelings change.
You know this from your own life. You've been sad about some things and the sadness goes away after a while, doesn't it? You get really angry as somebody, yet even a day later you aren't as mad. That's how emotions work. They change. Good ones, bad ones, they will shift. This is useful Emotional Logic to pay attention to. Emotions shift, they change all the time for all of us.
You know this first hand. While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad. Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate. Now you want to give it another go. Your feelings have shifted. It seems obvious, but the point is important: feeling change.
However, some feelings can take a while to change. They can get stuck. If your ex doesn't want to get back together with you, then they are still stuck with feelings of hurt or betrayal. For example, if you cheated on your ex, this brings up strong feelings in them that are hard to deal with. Your ex is likely still filled with powerful emoitons like sadness and shame or rage.
So how can you use Emotional Logic to get back with your ex? How can you use emotional intelligence to heal something like cheating on your mate? One way is to help them to get those bad feelings off their chest. Help them to vent. Let them get it out. So, if possible, when you talk to them, ask them how they are feeling about what happened or what you did or whatever. Then do your best to shut up and let them talk. Give them the time they need to begin to spill their feelings of anger or hurt out.
Don't defend yourself or attack them while they do this. This just keeps their feelings from being released. Instead, support them in feeling heard and understood. Just 10 minutes of getting feelings off their chest can really help. As these feelings get vented or released, it makes room in their heart again to feel happier about you.
There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in "spilling" and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life. Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can! - 14915
In a break up, the feelings of love and intimacy you had for each other got replaced by feelings of anger or hurt. Where you were feeling loving and intimate you started feeling mad or betrayed. Good feelings got replaced by bad feelings. So you fought and broke up. This is just what happens in relationships all over the world.
But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate. What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing. This is an important thing to note about emotions. Angry, hurt feelings aren't set in stone. Feelings change.
You know this from your own life. You've been sad about some things and the sadness goes away after a while, doesn't it? You get really angry as somebody, yet even a day later you aren't as mad. That's how emotions work. They change. Good ones, bad ones, they will shift. This is useful Emotional Logic to pay attention to. Emotions shift, they change all the time for all of us.
You know this first hand. While you were breaking up with your ex, you were angry or very hurt and sad. Now, those feelings are being replaced, shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you had with your mate. Now you want to give it another go. Your feelings have shifted. It seems obvious, but the point is important: feeling change.
However, some feelings can take a while to change. They can get stuck. If your ex doesn't want to get back together with you, then they are still stuck with feelings of hurt or betrayal. For example, if you cheated on your ex, this brings up strong feelings in them that are hard to deal with. Your ex is likely still filled with powerful emoitons like sadness and shame or rage.
So how can you use Emotional Logic to get back with your ex? How can you use emotional intelligence to heal something like cheating on your mate? One way is to help them to get those bad feelings off their chest. Help them to vent. Let them get it out. So, if possible, when you talk to them, ask them how they are feeling about what happened or what you did or whatever. Then do your best to shut up and let them talk. Give them the time they need to begin to spill their feelings of anger or hurt out.
Don't defend yourself or attack them while they do this. This just keeps their feelings from being released. Instead, support them in feeling heard and understood. Just 10 minutes of getting feelings off their chest can really help. As these feelings get vented or released, it makes room in their heart again to feel happier about you.
There is more to this process, but supporting your ex in "spilling" and releasing their negative feelings can be a vital part in getting them to take you back into their life. Feelings change, and you want to help their negative feelings change as fast as you can! - 14915
About the Author:
You can learn more about howto get your ex back in a book about Get Your Ex Back In One Day. John Laney teaches relationship skills and you can get a free course here on Free Relationship Advice Vital Tips.
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