A meddling mother-in-law is the brunt of many jokes, the focus of much gossip, and even the antagonist on the movie screen. During conversations of money, raising children, and dealing with lifes issues, theres bound to be disagreements between family members. For some unknown reason, some in-laws feel their opinion is just as important as your spouses when it shouldnt be. Clearly they care for the wellbeing of their child and grandchildren, but they dont always know whats best for you and your family.
Most of the time, looking at the situation from their point of view can enable you to shrug the comment off. But what about the times when they have gone too far. How do we diffuse the situation with confrontation or rudeness?
Standing your ground on whats important to you is essential to proving your point, even when youre surrounded by opposing arguments. Know your reasons for your opinion (and just because doesnt count) and state them. Speaking out about how you feel will let others know you care about the subject and your family. But realize, you arent likely to change their opinions, just like they wont changes yours. Your goal should be mutual respect of one anothers opinions.
Keeping your opinions to yourself may be polite, but it also shows that mother in law say what she pleases, right or wrong, and will be unchallenged. Even if you're keeping quiet because you're currently undecided on the issue, you should still speak up, at least to let them know that you appreciate their opinion, but are still doing some thinking on the issue.
Even seemingly constructive comments can have hidden meaning. What is said sounds nice, but has sarcastic undertones. This can turn into big arguments if not nipped in the bud.
Use diplomacy at all times. Be the better person, and refuse to sink to the levels of reciprocal insulting (remember, the comment may not have been intended to insult in the first place). If you know for sure that the remark was definitely intended to hurt you, there are two choices you can follow: first, don't allow the offender to take any satisfaction from what they said. Do this by trying your hardest not to react at all. Second, just tell them that you didn't appreciate the way they put it, and hope they weren't trying to undermine you. Never get angry.
Dont be afraid to let others know that although a suggestion of money management or child rearing may have worked for them, youre quite certain you are doing the best you can with your family and circumstances. Just because it worked for one person does not guarantee it will work with another person.
Whatever you do, please remember that its much easier to tackle meddling in-laws with upfront, polite honesty than it is with yelling insults back and forth. - 14915
Most of the time, looking at the situation from their point of view can enable you to shrug the comment off. But what about the times when they have gone too far. How do we diffuse the situation with confrontation or rudeness?
Standing your ground on whats important to you is essential to proving your point, even when youre surrounded by opposing arguments. Know your reasons for your opinion (and just because doesnt count) and state them. Speaking out about how you feel will let others know you care about the subject and your family. But realize, you arent likely to change their opinions, just like they wont changes yours. Your goal should be mutual respect of one anothers opinions.
Keeping your opinions to yourself may be polite, but it also shows that mother in law say what she pleases, right or wrong, and will be unchallenged. Even if you're keeping quiet because you're currently undecided on the issue, you should still speak up, at least to let them know that you appreciate their opinion, but are still doing some thinking on the issue.
Even seemingly constructive comments can have hidden meaning. What is said sounds nice, but has sarcastic undertones. This can turn into big arguments if not nipped in the bud.
Use diplomacy at all times. Be the better person, and refuse to sink to the levels of reciprocal insulting (remember, the comment may not have been intended to insult in the first place). If you know for sure that the remark was definitely intended to hurt you, there are two choices you can follow: first, don't allow the offender to take any satisfaction from what they said. Do this by trying your hardest not to react at all. Second, just tell them that you didn't appreciate the way they put it, and hope they weren't trying to undermine you. Never get angry.
Dont be afraid to let others know that although a suggestion of money management or child rearing may have worked for them, youre quite certain you are doing the best you can with your family and circumstances. Just because it worked for one person does not guarantee it will work with another person.
Whatever you do, please remember that its much easier to tackle meddling in-laws with upfront, polite honesty than it is with yelling insults back and forth. - 14915
About the Author:
Tina Love is the resident editor of the relationship section at Schmoozins - an online magazine for women that gives all women a voice. Join us as a contributor, schmoozer or just hang out a while.
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